Friday, July 02, 2004

Miss independence

Holiday weekend. WooHoo! I'm so excited that I don't know what to do with myself. It's amazing how your mood can change. Last night I was stationary on the couch, unable to move; so depressed that the notion of doing anything made the numbness deepen. But, today. Today is a new day. I'm getting out of dodge for the weekend. Sometimes you have to get lost to find yourself. And do some laundry.

How weird is it to have a washing machine in your house and take laundry on vacation so you can do it at your parent's house? I don't know why but there is something appealing to packing a big bag of laundry and some shoes. Obviously, the packing process is much easier when you merely have to throw some dirty clothes in a sack. But it is more than that. It's part of the process of being at home.

Why when we go visit our parents' house do we refer to it as going home? People ask me what I am doing this weekend, and I say, "going home." Yet when I'm there and I have to come back to where I live I answer that I'm "going back to LA." Will my family's house always be home or is it just home because LA doesn't feel like home to me?

Maybe I'm not as independent as I once thought. I guess in the Revolutionary War I would have been a loyalist, since I can't seem to part with the motherland. Maybe I need to right my own Declaration of independence and my own Constitution. Me the person of the LA state of Hollywood, in order to form a more perfect network, establish contacts...

However, in the actual Revolutionary War, if I had been a loyalist I would have moved back to London because I love it and I probably wouldn't have gone to the colonies to begin with.

It's interesting to read the Declaration of Independence, given the current political arena. A lot of it reads like a letter to the President. We fought so hard and now it all seems relevant again. I think I might go throw my Starbucks Chai Tea Latte in the river. In fact, they actually have a proposed espresso tax in Seattle. The more things change the more they stay the same.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The Pursuit of happiness. John Locke said: life, liberty, and property. But Jefferson change the philosophy he borrowed from to pursuit of happiness. What does that really me? Why is it an unalienable right? Apparently I am dumb because it's a truth that is self-evident. Why are we only entitled to pursue happiness? Why aren't we guaranteed happiness? Happiness isn't an unalienable right, merely the pursuit of it is. It's kind of like: you have the right to go after happiness but whether you get it or not is your downfall.

But do we have the right the opposite. By law we don't have the right to death or denying liberty. Does that mean that we don't have the right to pursue unhappiness? You can pursue happiness, but unhappiness has to find you. But the sad part is, unhappiness is more prevalent. Maybe we aren't taking advantage of rights that bestowed upon us by being born. What's the point of having unalienable rights when you don't exercise them? Last night on the sofa I wasn't pursuing happiness. Maybe that is my problem, the pursuit of happiness is an active right. It's not like life or liberty that are just given to you. In order to take advantage of that right you have to actually pursue. The passive rights are easy the active rights are hard. But today, I declare my independence from my misery. I will take my first step in my journey to pursue happiness. Let the good times roll.

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