The merry-go-round of life (aka I think I'm bipolar)

The weekend is over. The summer is over. My complacency is over. I am antsy. I can't sit still. I can't concentrate. I can't accept this as my existence. What is the point? How can a circle fit into a square? Why does oxygen turn blood from blue to red and not purple? My blood flows through my veins yet I can't feel my heart beating. How can I have an irregular heart without an irregular heart beat? The stock market closing bell rings. For whom the bell tolls. The sound of the closing bell, the ding of the elevator, the click of the call forwarding button; all the sounds of freedom. I can escape the building, but I cannot escape my destiny.
 
Can you get back time by traveling to a different time zone. It's said that it takes light a certain amount of time to travel (light years) and if you go to a distance far enough away if you looked at earth you would see the dinosaurs. If I can travel to a planet that can see light from twenty five years ago, then could I relive my life? Could I change it,  manipulate the light or would I just witness the same train wreck over again. Maybe my twin in space will have more luck when Einstein lets her return to earth. She will be young, so I can teach her the little that I have learned. But would it not matter, would she suffer the same destiny? Maybe destiny is a time loop you can't escape. I am swimming but I am not moving anywhere. I think one of my arms is broken, I keep swimming in a circle. How does a circle fit into a square? How can an outsider be inside? How can an escape artist get out of cuffs without the key? How do I escape my destiny? Or how did my destiny escape me?