I hate social security
I don't understand why we can't just admit that we failed and move on, why do we have to drag future generations down with the system. I mean they take more money out of my pay check for social security than they do for state taxes. Ironically, they take more out of my pay check for social security than they do for my 401K. Social security is money that I am just giving away because I will never see a dime of that money. Last year they took out like $1500 for social security, so basically I just donated a Mac laptop to some old guy.
My manager gave his "State of the Branch" speech today. Yes, it was as cheesy as it sounds. I admire the sentiment but obviously I'm not his target market so it was a little lost on me. I damn near puked 4 times because of the utter epitome of capitalism that was on display. Grant the company is by definition the core of capitalism. But you know what they say about keeping your enemies close, you can't get much closer the sleeping with them, metaphorically of course.
Although, the most entertaining accept of the meeting was the "phantom" broker who was listening on the phone. I couldn't help but just stare at the light on the phone. It was a little 2001 for me and even worse his name is Dave. I wanted to bust up laughing every time I looked at the indicator light.
But the speech has inspire me to give my own speech. The State of Myself. Every year I will stand in front of the mirror and list my achievements, the goals I've met or haven't met, and the progress I hope to make for the future. Although it isn't the same if I don't have a fake congress to stand up and applaud ever second. Maybe I will force my friend to listen to my State of Myself. In fact, I think all of them should have one too. This way everyone will have the answer to: "So, what are you doing with your life?" And no one will have to ever ask that question again or even think it really loudly.
I think I will begin my draft shortly. But first I have to decide what I'm going to where because everybody knows that 90% is how you say it and 10% is what you say. Plus, I want to look good if I have to look at myself in the mirror for an hour, I don't want the state of myself to start off the new year with a complex I've developed from noticing some flaw that you only notice when looking in the mirror for an hour, not that I've ever looked in the mirror for an hour before. Although, I have looked at the amount of money they take out of my check for social security for over an hour wishing I could morph it at least into my own personal 401k plan. But no, stupid bastards make me pay for the money they already took from the poor suckers before me.
My manager gave his "State of the Branch" speech today. Yes, it was as cheesy as it sounds. I admire the sentiment but obviously I'm not his target market so it was a little lost on me. I damn near puked 4 times because of the utter epitome of capitalism that was on display. Grant the company is by definition the core of capitalism. But you know what they say about keeping your enemies close, you can't get much closer the sleeping with them, metaphorically of course.
Although, the most entertaining accept of the meeting was the "phantom" broker who was listening on the phone. I couldn't help but just stare at the light on the phone. It was a little 2001 for me and even worse his name is Dave. I wanted to bust up laughing every time I looked at the indicator light.
But the speech has inspire me to give my own speech. The State of Myself. Every year I will stand in front of the mirror and list my achievements, the goals I've met or haven't met, and the progress I hope to make for the future. Although it isn't the same if I don't have a fake congress to stand up and applaud ever second. Maybe I will force my friend to listen to my State of Myself. In fact, I think all of them should have one too. This way everyone will have the answer to: "So, what are you doing with your life?" And no one will have to ever ask that question again or even think it really loudly.
I think I will begin my draft shortly. But first I have to decide what I'm going to where because everybody knows that 90% is how you say it and 10% is what you say. Plus, I want to look good if I have to look at myself in the mirror for an hour, I don't want the state of myself to start off the new year with a complex I've developed from noticing some flaw that you only notice when looking in the mirror for an hour, not that I've ever looked in the mirror for an hour before. Although, I have looked at the amount of money they take out of my check for social security for over an hour wishing I could morph it at least into my own personal 401k plan. But no, stupid bastards make me pay for the money they already took from the poor suckers before me.
posted by Whit at 2:54 PM
1 Comments:
I think I would prefer to avoid the question of "So what are you doing with your life?" rather than have to come up with an hour of bullshit that just makes me depressed because it only accentuates the fact that inside, I know the answer is "nothing."
I can't look in the mirror for more than a few seconds at a time. I'm still afraid of Bloody Mary.
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