New Years Resolutions Part 1 of Zillions
It's that time of year again. Time to make as many false promises to ourselves that will drag our self-esteem down to the pits of despair as we punish ourselves for lack of commitment and/or will power. So this year I'm going to do it differently. I am going to give up things that I actually want to give up. You know, those qualities we have that seem to appear out of nowhere and serve no purpose other than to appease other people. Well, screw other people. That's what 2005 is going to be about: no bureaucratic bull shit.
For starters, I am going to give up fake smiling. Better yet, I think I will stop fake giggling as well. If you tell me a stupid joke, I'm not going to laugh. If you try to tease me then I will insult you right back. This is great because not only do people not know how to react when they don't get the desired and expected response, they also can't handle it. So pick a sound, any vibration of preference, but not a laugh and no smile cracking in sight. For instance, I'm choosing: "hmm."
However, this might be more difficult than I anticipate. Society has ingrained this quality in to me. No woman doesn't have is gene. Half the time I don't even realize that I'm faking it until the action has already been delivered and received. But it is not a reflex, it's merely a programmed reaction. I can overcome this if I want to, I just have to resist the societal pull.
People become lazy with their comedy because of the proliferation of the fake laugh. Why try harder if you can get what you want with the least amount of effort? Really we do a disservice to society to pretending to be amused. Maybe colleagues will go home and work on their: material, delivery, and timing. These charity hand outs of inauthentic emotion just perpetuate the cycle. Give a man a fish, feed him for a night. Teach a man to be funny, get him laid for all his life.
But this is just one of hundreds of resolutions; all of which are dedicated to making the world a better place for all of mankind. One absence of fake laugh with one insert look of disdain at a time. Even if it takes me through to 2006, I will prevail in my attempts. Let this be said that one day I envision a world in which no crappy joke will ever be told and no fake laugh will ever be uttered. Only then can we truly call ourselves a civilized society.
For starters, I am going to give up fake smiling. Better yet, I think I will stop fake giggling as well. If you tell me a stupid joke, I'm not going to laugh. If you try to tease me then I will insult you right back. This is great because not only do people not know how to react when they don't get the desired and expected response, they also can't handle it. So pick a sound, any vibration of preference, but not a laugh and no smile cracking in sight. For instance, I'm choosing: "hmm."
However, this might be more difficult than I anticipate. Society has ingrained this quality in to me. No woman doesn't have is gene. Half the time I don't even realize that I'm faking it until the action has already been delivered and received. But it is not a reflex, it's merely a programmed reaction. I can overcome this if I want to, I just have to resist the societal pull.
People become lazy with their comedy because of the proliferation of the fake laugh. Why try harder if you can get what you want with the least amount of effort? Really we do a disservice to society to pretending to be amused. Maybe colleagues will go home and work on their: material, delivery, and timing. These charity hand outs of inauthentic emotion just perpetuate the cycle. Give a man a fish, feed him for a night. Teach a man to be funny, get him laid for all his life.
But this is just one of hundreds of resolutions; all of which are dedicated to making the world a better place for all of mankind. One absence of fake laugh with one insert look of disdain at a time. Even if it takes me through to 2006, I will prevail in my attempts. Let this be said that one day I envision a world in which no crappy joke will ever be told and no fake laugh will ever be uttered. Only then can we truly call ourselves a civilized society.
posted by Whit at 2:02 PM
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