What's the meaning of this?
I check craig's list for job postings, what I always do when I am frustrated with my job, hoping that the company monitors will see it and recognize it as a cry for help. But nobody ever watches when you want them too. The monitors are like that person you show a movie that you really love to only to have them barely pay attention, how can you not care enough to watch something I love.
On Craig's List main page I see the category under community titled Lost and Found. I stare at it, wondering if perhaps I am on there. I'm for sure lost, maybe someone has found me or list something that will be a catalyst in my finding what was lost. But maybe I'm not lost, can you be lost if you have never been found. I feel lost but I don't know what I'm lost from. I suppose it is the lose of meaning, somehow I believe I had it in my life before or maybe it was just the belief that my life would one day mean something.
I've come to the point in life where it is time to give up the foolish notions that I am going to do or achieve something great; that I am going to, in child speak, "make something of myself." The Nietzsche thought that haunts me being that some people are extraordinary and the rest of us are just normal, destine to live monotonous lives. My worst fear of my destiny becomes brutally clear, I'm destined to just "be."
This is it. This is all I get. This is the cards life has dealt me and I've already given my two cards up in exchange for two equally shitty cards. But in life folding isn't an option or at least not an option I would choice to take. So meaning remains stuck in a permanent limbo. With no face cards I must face the facts that my hand isn't extraordinary.
Being stuck, there is something I know all about. Unable to move. Unable to breathe. Trying to breathe it all in. Soak it up and ring it out. Breathe in, breathe out.
This is existence. It isn't exciting or poetic, it's just mundane and fruitless. So I'm over here dying of scurvy. Maybe if I just ate an apple a day. No. No. No. No more what ifs, it is time to accept. I might not get it, but time to let go the lofty expectations. Time to give up the delusion. Time to resign to my own destiny. I know return to my regularly schedule life, I join this life already in progress.
On Craig's List main page I see the category under community titled Lost and Found. I stare at it, wondering if perhaps I am on there. I'm for sure lost, maybe someone has found me or list something that will be a catalyst in my finding what was lost. But maybe I'm not lost, can you be lost if you have never been found. I feel lost but I don't know what I'm lost from. I suppose it is the lose of meaning, somehow I believe I had it in my life before or maybe it was just the belief that my life would one day mean something.
I've come to the point in life where it is time to give up the foolish notions that I am going to do or achieve something great; that I am going to, in child speak, "make something of myself." The Nietzsche thought that haunts me being that some people are extraordinary and the rest of us are just normal, destine to live monotonous lives. My worst fear of my destiny becomes brutally clear, I'm destined to just "be."
This is it. This is all I get. This is the cards life has dealt me and I've already given my two cards up in exchange for two equally shitty cards. But in life folding isn't an option or at least not an option I would choice to take. So meaning remains stuck in a permanent limbo. With no face cards I must face the facts that my hand isn't extraordinary.
Being stuck, there is something I know all about. Unable to move. Unable to breathe. Trying to breathe it all in. Soak it up and ring it out. Breathe in, breathe out.
This is existence. It isn't exciting or poetic, it's just mundane and fruitless. So I'm over here dying of scurvy. Maybe if I just ate an apple a day. No. No. No. No more what ifs, it is time to accept. I might not get it, but time to let go the lofty expectations. Time to give up the delusion. Time to resign to my own destiny. I know return to my regularly schedule life, I join this life already in progress.
posted by Whit at 7:24 AM
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