Seriously, I was just kidding
I have a little bit of a problem. I can't seem to control myself. Everytime my mouth opens something happens that I can't control. I don't mean for it to but it's inevitable. I'm an instigator. It's what I do. The reason this is not my fault is because people always take what I say literally. I mention something in joshing and all of the sudden I find the people around me pursuing my idea. I really am Dr. Frankenstein recreated in the body of the monster.
People, I am joking, stop taking what I say at face value. Both of us will just end up embarrassed by whatever antics I've conjured up in my tiny brain. Yes, it might seem like fun, at first, but trust me when I tell you that it never ends well.
Honestly, I never knew my comedy had so much power. I'm like the Merlin of the humor world. On a side note: when writing my blog I often do feel like Merlin since it's like living your life backwards. You read the end before you read the beginning. But I will talk more about that thought in a different blog.
Why does everyone think my jokes would be so much funnier if they were lived out. The problem is that I surround myself with too many people who have a lot of cojones. Damn, I joke about these things because I know that I will never do them. I think the people around me look at it to be more like a dare than a hypothetical.
Although, this is where the Scorpio part comes in, I kind of get a little pleasure in the fact that I have that kind of power of persuasion over other people. I know that is slightly evil to think, but I can't help it. It's my one drug of choice. So maybe when I am blaming others it is really my own doing. I need to stop using the people around me like pawns in a chess game. No more sacrificing the pawns to protect the queen. I should start doing these things myself.
What is it that they say that 50% of every joke is the truth? I need to grow a pair and stop having others do my dirty work for me. I don't always want to be the mastermind. I feel bad that I am the General who sends my troops into battle simply because I like watching people get shot. I'm tired of having blood on my hands. Out damn spot, out I say. But really, where is the fun in that?
I'm really not pure evil despite the above passage illusion to that. Hey, every yin has a little yang and every yang has a little yin. I can't control my evil doings (or in this case, my evil sayings). Do not burn me at the stake for my wrongs, I can't control the fact that I am left handed. Sinister does mean: from the left. My horrible thoughts come from my right mind. In need out of my right mind.
Please don't hate me because my suggestions drive you to acts of insanity. It really isn't my fault. I just drew the map, you're the one that followed it. Maybe next time you will learn how to stop and ask for directions when nothing around you looks familiar. Just think of me as a test. But in case you fail, don't worry I have plenty of extra straight jackets in the back of my trunk.
People, I am joking, stop taking what I say at face value. Both of us will just end up embarrassed by whatever antics I've conjured up in my tiny brain. Yes, it might seem like fun, at first, but trust me when I tell you that it never ends well.
Honestly, I never knew my comedy had so much power. I'm like the Merlin of the humor world. On a side note: when writing my blog I often do feel like Merlin since it's like living your life backwards. You read the end before you read the beginning. But I will talk more about that thought in a different blog.
Why does everyone think my jokes would be so much funnier if they were lived out. The problem is that I surround myself with too many people who have a lot of cojones. Damn, I joke about these things because I know that I will never do them. I think the people around me look at it to be more like a dare than a hypothetical.
Although, this is where the Scorpio part comes in, I kind of get a little pleasure in the fact that I have that kind of power of persuasion over other people. I know that is slightly evil to think, but I can't help it. It's my one drug of choice. So maybe when I am blaming others it is really my own doing. I need to stop using the people around me like pawns in a chess game. No more sacrificing the pawns to protect the queen. I should start doing these things myself.
What is it that they say that 50% of every joke is the truth? I need to grow a pair and stop having others do my dirty work for me. I don't always want to be the mastermind. I feel bad that I am the General who sends my troops into battle simply because I like watching people get shot. I'm tired of having blood on my hands. Out damn spot, out I say. But really, where is the fun in that?
I'm really not pure evil despite the above passage illusion to that. Hey, every yin has a little yang and every yang has a little yin. I can't control my evil doings (or in this case, my evil sayings). Do not burn me at the stake for my wrongs, I can't control the fact that I am left handed. Sinister does mean: from the left. My horrible thoughts come from my right mind. In need out of my right mind.
Please don't hate me because my suggestions drive you to acts of insanity. It really isn't my fault. I just drew the map, you're the one that followed it. Maybe next time you will learn how to stop and ask for directions when nothing around you looks familiar. Just think of me as a test. But in case you fail, don't worry I have plenty of extra straight jackets in the back of my trunk.
posted by Whit at 2:15 PM
3 Comments:
what the hell are you talking about? what did you make someone do? there's gotta be a reason you're writing this post...you can't just tease this way...
I didn't make anyone pour gas on any rose bushes, if that is what you mean. It was more of a generality. Nothing major, just a small incident in a trend. You of all people understand this power, for you have fallen victim to it many a times.
evil. you're pure evil.
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