When did I become the class smart ass?
Why is it that we change and we don't even know it? Sure we know when we change over night because some incident occurred that rocked the foundation of our believes and we are immediately changed by it. This is not the change I am referring to. I'm talking about the incremental changes that proceed without or knowledge and sometimes without our consent.
I've recently come to the understanding that I am now the sarcastic smart ass kid in the class. I use to be so soft spoken, I don't know what happened. I've also developed a habit of putting my foot in my mouth, I use to have a keen nack for knowing what was and wasn't appropriate to say. Maybe I've learn to let my guard down or maybe I've let my Id overpower my ego and super ego. Whatever.
Not all metamorphosis are voluntary, in fact most are not. Usually when we try to change our body rejects it, changes only can happen through a natural progress. That is what Marx says about Marxism or political scholars say about why imposed democracies are doomed to fail because they were not achieve through revolution. I don't remember the last time I revolted against myself, sure there have been some uprisings but no successful revolt. So how did I become a loud mouth punk?
I suppose I am a result of the Glorious Revolution, the only revolution that involved no blood spill. But if that were the case I would still remember the willingness to fight. Alas, there very little fight left in me, so that can't be the case. How can I change without my permission or acknowledgement? It seems like if I'm going to go through hassle of change then it should be for something good.
Who knows, maybe the smart ass is a change for the better. I suppose I was boring. I guess it is better to be annoying than boring, at least you're memorable in some sense then. To change your mind is easy, to change your habits is hard. I change my mind about which habits to change.
So maybe change isn't something you pursue it's just something that happens. It's not the internal forces that are hard at work but rather the external forces that we allow in that will influence our lives. Thus, I am a smart ass because I surround myself with people who facilitate that change or I'm trying to drive away people who won't appreciate it. I'm hoping that the smart ass stage is just that: a stage, I consider it to be my feudalism on my route to socialism. I wonder what the dialectic has to say about that.
I've recently come to the understanding that I am now the sarcastic smart ass kid in the class. I use to be so soft spoken, I don't know what happened. I've also developed a habit of putting my foot in my mouth, I use to have a keen nack for knowing what was and wasn't appropriate to say. Maybe I've learn to let my guard down or maybe I've let my Id overpower my ego and super ego. Whatever.
Not all metamorphosis are voluntary, in fact most are not. Usually when we try to change our body rejects it, changes only can happen through a natural progress. That is what Marx says about Marxism or political scholars say about why imposed democracies are doomed to fail because they were not achieve through revolution. I don't remember the last time I revolted against myself, sure there have been some uprisings but no successful revolt. So how did I become a loud mouth punk?
I suppose I am a result of the Glorious Revolution, the only revolution that involved no blood spill. But if that were the case I would still remember the willingness to fight. Alas, there very little fight left in me, so that can't be the case. How can I change without my permission or acknowledgement? It seems like if I'm going to go through hassle of change then it should be for something good.
Who knows, maybe the smart ass is a change for the better. I suppose I was boring. I guess it is better to be annoying than boring, at least you're memorable in some sense then. To change your mind is easy, to change your habits is hard. I change my mind about which habits to change.
So maybe change isn't something you pursue it's just something that happens. It's not the internal forces that are hard at work but rather the external forces that we allow in that will influence our lives. Thus, I am a smart ass because I surround myself with people who facilitate that change or I'm trying to drive away people who won't appreciate it. I'm hoping that the smart ass stage is just that: a stage, I consider it to be my feudalism on my route to socialism. I wonder what the dialectic has to say about that.
posted by Whit at 2:21 PM
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