Tragically Misunderstood

But aren't we all. Those philosophers that say that true communication is impossible might be on to something, but who really knows if that is what they meant. Language is so subjective and that combined with tone is utterly indecipherable. Most of the times I don't even know what I am trying to say. How can we expect the world to understand our meaning if we don't know it. Sure, we might understand our intent but our execution might not even remotely reflect our intentions.

I've always been fascinated by language. How it is a tool, the most powerful tool. It's a collective tool. Yet no one is exactly sure how to use it. I must admit that language haunts me. I want to write but I don't know any of the rules. I have this incredible tool at my finger tips but I don't know what buttons to press. How can I ever expect to be a writer if I don't know how to properly use the language? If I don't show the proper respect to language, language won't show me respect. If only I took the time to comprehend it all. Learned correct grammar and spelling. I'm so distorted if I think that I can be successful without knowing the basics.

Words and meanings are how we project ourselves to the world. I can't blame the universe for misunderstanding me if I don't say the correct thing. I often wonder why it is that I can be one way and come across another. I am nothing like what I appear. Why can't I learn to show who I really am. It's not that I am scared (although, there is some truth in that) but it's that I don't know how to portray myself any other way.

I can't understand how people open up to each other. Or maybe I am just as misguided in thinking that no one else feels the same way. Is everybody closed off, hiding who they really are? We are doomed to misinterpret everything and everybody. Can we ever really know anybody? Do we just mold our interpretation of others on what we want them to be. Atticus Finch's famous line: "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view-until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." The only problem with that rational it that even though you are in someone else's skin, it is still you in their skin. Your view point and experience thrust upon their life.

But more powerful than speech is silence. I think I say the most important things when I don't say anything at all. It is the words that are never spoken, the understanding that is never confirmed, the thought that is never revealed which transcends all other communications. It's interesting that the things that are never said are the things that are the easiest to translate. Forget mathematics, silence is the universal language. Maybe it's not that silence is never misinterpreted but rather that there is never any confirmation one way or the other.

Everything that I just said might be impossible to understand. But the bottom line is: why can't I show my true colors to the world at large? I have a hard enough time opening up to the nameless, faceless, nonexistent people reading this blog. Maybe none of us are ever suppose to understand anyone. Life is to strive for understanding without ever achieving it. I glad we've come to this new understanding. Why don't we take a moment of silence to truly get to know each other.

Insert moment of silence.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

There, now we know everything there is to know about one another. And boy, you are not the person I thought you were. From know on, I think I would prefer the misunderstanding of language because I really didn't need to know all of that about you. I need to go shower and vomit now. In the mean time realize that none of us are who we appear to be. Understanding that there is no understanding is the closest we might ever come to the actual truth. And truth be told, I'm actually fine with that. So, until our next misunderstanding...Have a great weekend (who knows if that is what I really mean). But I hope I gave new insight into the phrase: "What do you mean by that?"