Depression Anonymous (DA)
Note: this post is not trying to make light of any kind of addiction, but merely to comment on my experience with or without it.
I've always thought that I had an addictive personality in that I am a Scorpio. But I think the reason that I am not addicted to any thing or substance is because I just don't care enough about anything to be addicted to it. Plus, nothing ever holds my attention long enough to get me addicted. Memories of habits lost or not lost haunt me, but that is the extent of it.
Once again I am forming a club. It is really the only club I feel qualified to establish. You see I made the tragic mistake of believing that I could one day join AA, but last night I learn that will never be the case. Everyone always glorifies alcohol as this cure to the bottomless pit of emotion called life. You always hear of people numbing their pain with alcohol. So, I believed that if life ever got too miserable to bare that I could find comfort in alcohol like so many before me. Drink myself into the gutter with the historical likes of Poe.
Last night, I found that none of this is true, at least for me. I am not much of a drinker. In fact it is an extremely rare occasion that I drink and last night I remembered why. Drinking does nothing for me. Sure, I might be a little bit more entertaining to the people around me, but I get nothing. I still remember everything, I still feel everything, the only thing that is different is my reaction time. I realized that I am much better at numbing myself than any amount of Alcohol could achieve.
In fact, I was a little pissed off about the false advertising about the evils of alcohol. It didn't cure or delay any of my problems. If I can't drowned my sorrows in a pool of margaritas, then what is a girl to do? Alcohol might be a gateway drug in that since it doesn't work I am going to keep going up the drug scale until I find something that meets my needs. If that means I have to become a chain smoking, pothead, heroine addict then so be it.
So while I will never find myself in AA, I still hold out hope for NA. But as a last resort I know I can fall back on my newly formed DA. Whichever way, I need a support group maybe I should just start co-dependents anonymous now and get it over with. At least you would never have to worry about attendance, you know everybody would show up for those meetings.
I've always thought that I had an addictive personality in that I am a Scorpio. But I think the reason that I am not addicted to any thing or substance is because I just don't care enough about anything to be addicted to it. Plus, nothing ever holds my attention long enough to get me addicted. Memories of habits lost or not lost haunt me, but that is the extent of it.
Once again I am forming a club. It is really the only club I feel qualified to establish. You see I made the tragic mistake of believing that I could one day join AA, but last night I learn that will never be the case. Everyone always glorifies alcohol as this cure to the bottomless pit of emotion called life. You always hear of people numbing their pain with alcohol. So, I believed that if life ever got too miserable to bare that I could find comfort in alcohol like so many before me. Drink myself into the gutter with the historical likes of Poe.
Last night, I found that none of this is true, at least for me. I am not much of a drinker. In fact it is an extremely rare occasion that I drink and last night I remembered why. Drinking does nothing for me. Sure, I might be a little bit more entertaining to the people around me, but I get nothing. I still remember everything, I still feel everything, the only thing that is different is my reaction time. I realized that I am much better at numbing myself than any amount of Alcohol could achieve.
In fact, I was a little pissed off about the false advertising about the evils of alcohol. It didn't cure or delay any of my problems. If I can't drowned my sorrows in a pool of margaritas, then what is a girl to do? Alcohol might be a gateway drug in that since it doesn't work I am going to keep going up the drug scale until I find something that meets my needs. If that means I have to become a chain smoking, pothead, heroine addict then so be it.
So while I will never find myself in AA, I still hold out hope for NA. But as a last resort I know I can fall back on my newly formed DA. Whichever way, I need a support group maybe I should just start co-dependents anonymous now and get it over with. At least you would never have to worry about attendance, you know everybody would show up for those meetings.
posted by Whit at 11:15 AM
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