When a bobby pin is the only thing standing between you and insanity
My hair keeps driving me crazy today. I got so fed up that I threw all of it back. My hair into a ponytail and my bangs swept to the side secured by a bobby pin. Suddenly while standing in the bathroom gazing into the mirror I had this flash of fear that I might somehow lose my bobby pin. Panic, sheer terror paralyzed me. If I lose the clip then nothing will keep my long ass bangs from attacking my face. That would be incapacitated me. Sometimes it is the small things that drive you to the brink of thinking that your mind might literally snap if forced to confront them.
So many things in life drive me crazy but it is never the same thing and always random. For instance most days I am fine with talking to people on the phone but then other days, for no apparent reason, I feel like I'm going to scream if I have to hear the same voices I hear everyday always asking for the same people in the exact same way. I don't know why the mind does this. Why does this happen?
I think I am going through the 12-step program involuntarily. I feel that I have been going through phases. Looking back I believe I might be naturally working through all twelve of them. I admit that the current stage is: anger. I am just so pissed at everything. People drive me crazy. I miss the old days when I was in the denial stage. Oh, that was a great stage, it's called adolescents. But now: "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
People suck. This is merely the truth, not a judgment. I hate when things are shady. Get it together already. I'm not going to wait here forever, at least not patiently. Shadiness is never appealing or attractive no matter how many times Eminem gets laid. You shouldn't tell people to sit down to dinner if you haven't even begun cooking. I didn't realize it was the neighbor's food I smelled, longing to feast upon.
Here is some food for thought: why should I wait for you if I don't know if you are worth waiting for? Get off your high horse before you get thrown from it. I know that I should never go to the running of the bulls because I can't even keep up with all your bull. But, "Ole", nonetheless, my petty friend.
Anger feels good. Letting it all out feels great. I might be a chicken but I can yell on my blog all day. Typing really hard is cathartic. I can't punch you in the face but I can punch the keys envisioning your face. I'm not really this hostel. I usually keep all of my frustration on the inside; I find it keeps me warm at night.
Releasing all bubbling emotion really allows me to sleep better at night. I even think it is making my complexion glow. Who need glycolic acid when you have raw emotions that you can vent. I feel so renewed. Why does releasing all the anger cause such state of bliss and relaxation? The best day spa in the world would consist solely of soundproof rooms and a plastic bat to hit things with.
The best part of a good vent is that it allows you to move on, to let go. So, go, be gone with you. I don't care what you do or who you hire. You release you from you obligation and myself from mine. Be what as it may. It doesn't matter if you were wrong, or acted inappropriately. I forgive you. But mostly, I don't need you nor do I care to need you. What might have been, who knows? Maybe it will better for everyone this way. The sad part of the whole situation is that you will learn nothing, but I've learned my lesson so I guess that will have to be enough.
Enough already. I was a fun week of dreaming. But now I'm back to reality. And for the first time and a long time, reality isn't as horrid as I thought it was. In fact, reality ain't half-bad. For once it is the dreams that torture and the reality that seems to have been proven a dream.
Sometimes when the bobby pin comes loose you find another means to secure them. Because when something is missing in life we always find a way to make do. It's amazing how multi-purposed a paperclip can be.
So many things in life drive me crazy but it is never the same thing and always random. For instance most days I am fine with talking to people on the phone but then other days, for no apparent reason, I feel like I'm going to scream if I have to hear the same voices I hear everyday always asking for the same people in the exact same way. I don't know why the mind does this. Why does this happen?
I think I am going through the 12-step program involuntarily. I feel that I have been going through phases. Looking back I believe I might be naturally working through all twelve of them. I admit that the current stage is: anger. I am just so pissed at everything. People drive me crazy. I miss the old days when I was in the denial stage. Oh, that was a great stage, it's called adolescents. But now: "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!"
People suck. This is merely the truth, not a judgment. I hate when things are shady. Get it together already. I'm not going to wait here forever, at least not patiently. Shadiness is never appealing or attractive no matter how many times Eminem gets laid. You shouldn't tell people to sit down to dinner if you haven't even begun cooking. I didn't realize it was the neighbor's food I smelled, longing to feast upon.
Here is some food for thought: why should I wait for you if I don't know if you are worth waiting for? Get off your high horse before you get thrown from it. I know that I should never go to the running of the bulls because I can't even keep up with all your bull. But, "Ole", nonetheless, my petty friend.
Anger feels good. Letting it all out feels great. I might be a chicken but I can yell on my blog all day. Typing really hard is cathartic. I can't punch you in the face but I can punch the keys envisioning your face. I'm not really this hostel. I usually keep all of my frustration on the inside; I find it keeps me warm at night.
Releasing all bubbling emotion really allows me to sleep better at night. I even think it is making my complexion glow. Who need glycolic acid when you have raw emotions that you can vent. I feel so renewed. Why does releasing all the anger cause such state of bliss and relaxation? The best day spa in the world would consist solely of soundproof rooms and a plastic bat to hit things with.
The best part of a good vent is that it allows you to move on, to let go. So, go, be gone with you. I don't care what you do or who you hire. You release you from you obligation and myself from mine. Be what as it may. It doesn't matter if you were wrong, or acted inappropriately. I forgive you. But mostly, I don't need you nor do I care to need you. What might have been, who knows? Maybe it will better for everyone this way. The sad part of the whole situation is that you will learn nothing, but I've learned my lesson so I guess that will have to be enough.
Enough already. I was a fun week of dreaming. But now I'm back to reality. And for the first time and a long time, reality isn't as horrid as I thought it was. In fact, reality ain't half-bad. For once it is the dreams that torture and the reality that seems to have been proven a dream.
Sometimes when the bobby pin comes loose you find another means to secure them. Because when something is missing in life we always find a way to make do. It's amazing how multi-purposed a paperclip can be.
posted by Whit at 2:16 PM
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