Will you please be my big brother?
I've been confused. I thought I liked someone when all along I merely liked them. I think sometimes I think that any interest in a person that it equates me being interested in the person. This is completely true in terms of any guys that I meet that I actually like. In LA it is hard to meet guys that you even want to be friends with so of course any and all gentlemen that you meet you instantly try to talk yourself into liking.
So, this is how my formerly dubbed "imaginary boyfriend" has now become my "imaginary brother." I know how difficult quality men are to come by so I talk myself into believing that I have feelings for them. But finally I realized that I'm not really attracted to him. I suppose that is important, even in merely an imaginary boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong. I adore this particular person, but today it hit me that I wish he was my brother. I should have seen the signs when I was in no way shape or form jealous of his fiancé. This says numerous amounts about things since I am a Scorpio and there is no way I wouldn't want to claw her eyes out if I actually was interested in him.
So what is wrong with me that I can't even tell if I really like someone? Boredom? Could be. Denial? Most definitely. Scared shitless of commitment? Absolutely.
Liking a guy > dating a guy > marrying a guy > death!
Well, maybe not that dramatic, but close. I suppose some would say that is because I haven't met the right guy. But I don't know, there seems to be a lot of people who think they have met the right person and yet they are still heading to divorce. I guess I am better of thinking I like a guy that I don't than to think I love a guy and I don't only to find this out two years after the wedding.
Some how the notion of having this guy be my brother seems more appealing then having some random guy be my boyfriend. In truth, I totally adore said person and think he is so cool, exactly what a girl would want in a brother. Plus, maybe he has some cute friends; I just hope he doesn't get overprotective of me as an older brother might be.
So, this is how my formerly dubbed "imaginary boyfriend" has now become my "imaginary brother." I know how difficult quality men are to come by so I talk myself into believing that I have feelings for them. But finally I realized that I'm not really attracted to him. I suppose that is important, even in merely an imaginary boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong. I adore this particular person, but today it hit me that I wish he was my brother. I should have seen the signs when I was in no way shape or form jealous of his fiancé. This says numerous amounts about things since I am a Scorpio and there is no way I wouldn't want to claw her eyes out if I actually was interested in him.
So what is wrong with me that I can't even tell if I really like someone? Boredom? Could be. Denial? Most definitely. Scared shitless of commitment? Absolutely.
Liking a guy > dating a guy > marrying a guy > death!
Well, maybe not that dramatic, but close. I suppose some would say that is because I haven't met the right guy. But I don't know, there seems to be a lot of people who think they have met the right person and yet they are still heading to divorce. I guess I am better of thinking I like a guy that I don't than to think I love a guy and I don't only to find this out two years after the wedding.
Some how the notion of having this guy be my brother seems more appealing then having some random guy be my boyfriend. In truth, I totally adore said person and think he is so cool, exactly what a girl would want in a brother. Plus, maybe he has some cute friends; I just hope he doesn't get overprotective of me as an older brother might be.
posted by Whit at 2:17 PM
1 Comments:
LA is hard. We spend most of our time bored. Especially if you're a smart girl, smarter than most of these bland, ordinary men out here, as you are. At least you get plenty of material. It's really not a bad thing. Why waste time and energy, right?
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